How Releasing the Past Can Boost Your Personal Power
“Sometimes letting things go is an act far greater power than defending or hanging on.” Eckhart Tolle
Image by 🆓 Use at your Ease 👌🏼 from Pixabay
Some years ago, I was released from a job that in my mind represented financial security, and yet my job and I had grown out of alignment. Accepting and recognizing that it was causing me more pain than pleasure was a process of letting go, emotionally and physically. I found that I had attached my identity to the job, who I was and what I was worth. I don’t think this is a new discovery, a lot of us do this. But recognizing who I am, is not what I do for a paycheck, gave me that Ahah! moment. And let me tell you, the feeling was uncomfortable. I wanted to stay safe in my comfort zone of what I subscribed my identity to be.
Through releasing and letting go of my attachment, thoughts and feelings to the job, it led me on a journey of self-reflection and inspired me to create a new identity. Or at least dig deep down to who I really am. Of creating a new me in terms of what I learned and the growth I received from my vocation. I concluded that leaving my job was like leaving a relationship or getting a divorce. I spent most of my daily hours in relationship with my co-workers, supervisors, and a business entity. Daily tasks and projects gave me purpose and formed my identity, and then all of a sudden it was gone. I no longer had daily interactions with my co-workers or had my “to do’s” to anchor me. And I found that change was hard and uncomfortable, yet somehow liberating. I began to ask myself, what do I do now? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What opportunities am I now open too? And finally, am I brave enough to find out?
Why is it difficult to let go?
I believe there are many reasons why letting go is hard. We use past experiences to justify our current life choices. Sometimes those past experiences offered us pain, unfulfilled expectations or fears and they taught us to settle, to stay safe. We’ve learned to keep holding on to old thought patterns and limiting beliefs, letting them inform and shape how we see ourselves. Learning when to let go is the difficult part. It’s human nature to want to hold on to things, people or places that at some time might have brought us pleasure. Recognizing when we are in a situation where the pain is more than the pleasure, when the bad feelings outweigh the good ones, is the first step. This is when we ask ourselves, is the situation, relationship or item truly making us happy?
Why does not letting go hold us back?
When we hold on to things or situations and refuse to release our attachments, it stops us from moving forward and reaching our goals. Trying to create something new from holding on to the past, or to worries or expectations for the future, prevents us from moving towards the things that empower us. We may feel like letting go is giving up, but it’s not. It’s moving forward, adapting and changing our thoughts or directions to accommodate the new. Everything is constantly changing and giving up comes from a place of defeat, while letting go comes from a place of strength.
We use the fear of change and our experiences of the past to keep us stagnant. We stay in that unhealthy relationship, or the unfulfilling job, or the same old belief that isn’t serving us, because the past taught us that if we don’t, we may get disappointed. But that just keeps us experiencing the same old thing. It’s life, on repeat.
How can we let go?
Letting go is like mastering an art. It’s a process, one we learn and practice. One of my old teachers once explained to me this exercise of letting go. He said, imagine what you want to release is this pencil. It’s in your hand. Now drop it. So, I did.
He said, “You’ve released it. Now what?”
I thought, “That was easy.” And then I bent down and picked the pencil up.
He said, “And now you’ve picked it back up. You have not released it. That pencil is the thought (relationship, situation, thing) you tried to release.”
It was such a simple exercise and yet so profound. It blew my mind that “picking it back up” was such an unconscious act and helped me to recognize and pay attention to my thoughts and actions. I think that sometimes the kind of letting go that involves a conscious choice versus a physical action is difficult, challenging and frightening. It challenges our status quo. It takes honest work.
One way we can let go is to learn acceptance. Practice accepting a situation, person, thought or belief without wishing that it turned out differently helps us move on. Most likely, there will be an emotional process, like anger or grief, when letting something go. We can find ways to acknowledge our emotional responses and then move through them. This is a process which may differ based on our unique individualism. We all process differently. We can all practice staying present, existing in the eternal now.
Allow ourselves the grace and forgiveness for past situations and mistakes. Learning and practicing self-compassion, self-love and self-forgiveness leads to empowerment. What is it that we want to release? What did that experience teach us, offer us, let us grow through? Now let’s be brave enough to face it, thank it, and gently release its power over us.
Another way to let go is creating tools or rituals to anchor our physical experiences with our thoughts and beliefs. Create a box that you can write what you want to release and then place it in the box. Write down on a piece of paper what you want to let go of, and then burn it. Create mantras or affirmations, like “I release everything (or be specific) that is not for my highest good or I release that which no longer serves me.”
How does letting go benefit us?
Letting go frees us from expectations. It allows us to move forward, set new intentions, unencumbered from the old and reach our goals. It helps us make space for a fresh start. When we let go of the past and release that which no longer serves us, it empowers us and the universe to bring forth new beginnings. It allows us to recognize any open doors to new opportunities. Letting go offers us the freedom to visualize and create an empowered life.
I’ve had many experiences in the past couple years that brought forth many opportunities for growth, wanted and unwanted. Practicing and learning to let go was one of them that helped me on my journey to an empowered life. By releasing the past, I was able to boost my personal power and focus on creating a life that brings me joy, creativity and peace.
“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah
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